Treadmill

The older you get, one can’t help but to reflect on the past. You reflect on career, family and relationships. You realize far too late that the first half of your life you had absolutely no idea who you were. Instead of taking a moment to stand still and simply be present you are on this treadmill of sorts, running but not going anywhere. You expect those early employers to love you and recognize your unique talents and contributions. You date in search of a soul mate, expecting to mutually fall in love with the perfect mate. You expect your family, friends and lovers to just sense your needs and step up and take care of them.

Then you realize that all you had it all wrong. Managers see you as just another employee and you should be grateful to have a job. After years of searching for some yen to your yang, you realize that you expected far too much in a partner. The fairytale that involves someone of scoping you of your feet rarely happens. Instead you learn that nice, caring, honest and faithful are the most someone can expect from a mate. If you find those qualities mixed with attraction, take it and get out of the game. A mate won’t feel or fill some void. No one wants to step in and be responsible for holding you together. Two imperfect wholes can equal a good match. When it comes to family, just accept that you have two choices; accept them as is or go out and create a new one. Just because you are born into one particular family doesn’t mean you feel connected to them. Decide if they are worth the investment. If you decide that they aren't worth it and that you are open to creating your own family, go out there and be open to turning friends into family.

I spent years putting the minimum investment in friends. Why, because I decided early on to place my chips on romantic relationships. What I learned is to invest equally. If you have to decide at some particular moment between friends and relationship opt in favor of the friendship. However, I strongly believe true friends won’t make you choose. Remember in most cases, friends outlast lovers.

So now that you have it all or should I say some of it figured out, what should you do? How do you learn from the past and make better choices in the future? When in question about career, family and/or relationships, instead of forcing yourself to make a choice, be still. Think and reflect. Your many years on the treadmill have built your muscles. The best choice for you is probably right in front of you or should I say inside of you. Solve problems before walking away. Recognize an internal dilemma versus an external one.

Look inside, the answers are there.